Creative Project: Antoinette's Insanity

For my creative project this semester I decided to use photography to illustrate Antoinette's experiences in her attic prison. I chose to have an all dark background, with minimal colors in the actual pictures, to accentuate the dramatic scenes and thoughts that Antoinette experiences. The body language and facial expressions in the photos are the main focus. Another reason for the black background is because of Grace Poole's quote that calls Antoinette "that girl who lives in her own darkness." 

I decided to put the photos where Antoinette explores outside of the attic in black and white because to the outside world Antoinette is only a forgotten ghost. 

These photos were all inspired by actual quotes in the novel. 

(Thanks to Allie Hartman for being such a patient and amazing model, and thanks to my sister and my mother for helping me arrange the lights and the props.)

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"But above all the thick walls, keeping away all the things that you have fought till you can fight no more. Yes, maybe that's why we all stayed -- Mrs Eff and Leah and me. All of us except that girl who lives in her own darkness." (Rhys 178)

"I'll say one thing for her, she hasn't lost her spirit. She's still fierce. I don't turn my back on her when her eyes have that look. I know it." (Rhys 178)

"In the end flames shoot up and they are beautiful. I get out of bed to watch them and to wonder why I have been brought here. For what reason? There must be a reason. What is it I must do?" (Rhys 179)

"So there is still the sound of whispering that I have heard all my life, but these are different voices." (Rhys 180)

"When she is snoring I get up and I have tasted the drink without colour in the bottle. The first time I did this I wanted to spit it out but I managed to swallow it. When I got back into bed I could remember more and think again. I was not so cold." (Rhys 179)

"There is no looking-glass here. and I don't know what I am like now. I remember watching myself brush my hair and how my eyes looked back at me. The girl I saw was myself yet not quite myself. Long ago when I was a child and very lonely I tried to kiss her. But the glass was between us -- hard, cold, and misted over with my breath. Now they have taken everything away. What am I doing in this place and who am I?" (Rhys 180)

(This is one of my favorite shots, aside from the abysmal photoshop editing, because I love the way it shows the current Antoinette remembering her past Antoinette through a mirror. The image of the looking glass pops up several times throughout the novel, so I was even more excited to try out mirror photography.)

"Then I open the door and walk into their world. It is, as I always knew, made of cardboard. I have seen it before somewhere, this cardboard world where everything is colored brown or dark red or yellow that has no light in it. As I walk along the passages I wish I could see what is behind the cardboard." (Rhys 181) 

"She met another girl and the second girl said, 'Have you seen a ghost?' -- 'I didn't see anything but I thought I felt something.' -- 'That is the ghost,' the second one said and they went down the stairs together." (Rhys 182)

 (For this photo I did everything I could to make Antoinette look as much like a ghost as possible.)

"I took the red dress down and put it against myself. 'Does it make me look intemperate and unchaste?' I said. [...] But I held the dress in my hand wondering if they had done the last and worst thing. If they had changed it when I wasn't looking. If they had changed it and it wasn't my dress at all -- but how could they get the scent?" (Rhys 186)

"Time has no meaning. But something you can hold like my red dress, that has meaning [...] The scent that came from the dress was very faint at first, then it grew stronger. The smell of vetivert and frangipanni, of cinnamon and dust and lime trees when they are flowering. The smell of sun and the smell of rain." (Rhys 185)

"I let the dress fall to the floor [...] I looked at the dress on the floor and it was as if the fire had spread across the room. It was beautiful and it reminded me of something I must do. I will remember I thought. I will remember quite soon now." (Rhys 186-187)

"I wished to see it clearly so I lit all the candles, and there were many. I lit them carefully from the one I was carrying but I couldn't reach up to the chandelier. I looked round for the altar for with so many candles and so much red, the room reminded me of a church." (Rhys 188)

(The quote here is taken from Antoinette's nightmare, so I tried to make the photo dream like. Here, she is sleeping among many candles, seemingly floating in mid air. )

"I waited a long time after I heard her snore, then I got up, took the keys, and unlocked the door." (Rhys 190)

"I was outside holding my candle. Now at last I know why I was brought here and what I have to do." (Rhys 189)

"There must have been a draught for the flame flickered and I thought it was out. But I shielded it with my hand and it burned up again to light me along the dark passage." (Rhys 189)

The artistic qualities of a fork

I think my most successful photo from my experiment was this photo of three forks and a spoon.

The class discussion today talked about how The Mezzanine turns the mundane, trivial, everyday consumer items into art by putting "a blank wall" around them--much like how a museum displays its art. 

By isolating the objects and talking about them in detail, Howie is forcing us to focus only on the object. He rants about straws, paper towels, and even garbage trucks. Somehow, he turns these commonplace items into objects of wonder and curiosity. Howie says that he wants to "set the escalator to the mezzanine against a clean mental background as something fine and worth my adult time to think about," and I think he succeeds in getting the reader to think more creatively about day to day life. 

This point of the book, and the discussion in class, reminded me of a photo experiment that I did last winter. 

I'm not a photographer by any stretch of the imagination, but at one point last year I really wanted to try out a homemade light box for my food blog that I was writing for nonfiction writing class. The goal was to make the food items look even more delicious by casting more light onto them, because usually well-lit subjects make a better picture. 

I found that taking pictures of the food was so much fun that I started grabbing things in the kitchen, and I found that when these trivial objects are placed on their own in the light box you suddenly see colors and shapes that you hadn't noticed before. And, now that I think about it, my use of the light box was similar to Howie's discovery of the rusted railroad spike in the well-swept garage. 

For example, the blue on the Earl Grey tea packet stands out in one picture, and so do the colors of the twisty straws in the next.

 Most of the time, when I make tea I don't even study the packet at all because I promptly discard it, but on it's own the packet is suddenly fascinating. I begin to notice that the packet is made of this papery plastic material. I also notice the shadows its crinkled shell casts, the fading color of dark blue and black on the design, and my ultimate betrayal of the "please tear here" instructions.

The twisty straws also become intriguing because they remind you of the swirly motion that occurs as you drink liquid through them. The white milk twists and turns, and your eyes cross as they look down your nose to examine the effect the twisty straw has on the drinking time of the liquid (only a few hundredths of a second more drinking time than using a regular straw). 

Howie would probably go into great detail about why and how twisty straws came into existence, but I'll save the extensive footnotes for another time. 

If you're interested here are some the shots that I came up with: