Creative Project: Antoinette's Insanity

For my creative project this semester I decided to use photography to illustrate Antoinette's experiences in her attic prison. I chose to have an all dark background, with minimal colors in the actual pictures, to accentuate the dramatic scenes and thoughts that Antoinette experiences. The body language and facial expressions in the photos are the main focus. Another reason for the black background is because of Grace Poole's quote that calls Antoinette "that girl who lives in her own darkness." 

I decided to put the photos where Antoinette explores outside of the attic in black and white because to the outside world Antoinette is only a forgotten ghost. 

These photos were all inspired by actual quotes in the novel. 

(Thanks to Allie Hartman for being such a patient and amazing model, and thanks to my sister and my mother for helping me arrange the lights and the props.)

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"But above all the thick walls, keeping away all the things that you have fought till you can fight no more. Yes, maybe that's why we all stayed -- Mrs Eff and Leah and me. All of us except that girl who lives in her own darkness." (Rhys 178)

"I'll say one thing for her, she hasn't lost her spirit. She's still fierce. I don't turn my back on her when her eyes have that look. I know it." (Rhys 178)

"In the end flames shoot up and they are beautiful. I get out of bed to watch them and to wonder why I have been brought here. For what reason? There must be a reason. What is it I must do?" (Rhys 179)

"So there is still the sound of whispering that I have heard all my life, but these are different voices." (Rhys 180)

"When she is snoring I get up and I have tasted the drink without colour in the bottle. The first time I did this I wanted to spit it out but I managed to swallow it. When I got back into bed I could remember more and think again. I was not so cold." (Rhys 179)

"There is no looking-glass here. and I don't know what I am like now. I remember watching myself brush my hair and how my eyes looked back at me. The girl I saw was myself yet not quite myself. Long ago when I was a child and very lonely I tried to kiss her. But the glass was between us -- hard, cold, and misted over with my breath. Now they have taken everything away. What am I doing in this place and who am I?" (Rhys 180)

(This is one of my favorite shots, aside from the abysmal photoshop editing, because I love the way it shows the current Antoinette remembering her past Antoinette through a mirror. The image of the looking glass pops up several times throughout the novel, so I was even more excited to try out mirror photography.)

"Then I open the door and walk into their world. It is, as I always knew, made of cardboard. I have seen it before somewhere, this cardboard world where everything is colored brown or dark red or yellow that has no light in it. As I walk along the passages I wish I could see what is behind the cardboard." (Rhys 181) 

"She met another girl and the second girl said, 'Have you seen a ghost?' -- 'I didn't see anything but I thought I felt something.' -- 'That is the ghost,' the second one said and they went down the stairs together." (Rhys 182)

 (For this photo I did everything I could to make Antoinette look as much like a ghost as possible.)

"I took the red dress down and put it against myself. 'Does it make me look intemperate and unchaste?' I said. [...] But I held the dress in my hand wondering if they had done the last and worst thing. If they had changed it when I wasn't looking. If they had changed it and it wasn't my dress at all -- but how could they get the scent?" (Rhys 186)

"Time has no meaning. But something you can hold like my red dress, that has meaning [...] The scent that came from the dress was very faint at first, then it grew stronger. The smell of vetivert and frangipanni, of cinnamon and dust and lime trees when they are flowering. The smell of sun and the smell of rain." (Rhys 185)

"I let the dress fall to the floor [...] I looked at the dress on the floor and it was as if the fire had spread across the room. It was beautiful and it reminded me of something I must do. I will remember I thought. I will remember quite soon now." (Rhys 186-187)

"I wished to see it clearly so I lit all the candles, and there were many. I lit them carefully from the one I was carrying but I couldn't reach up to the chandelier. I looked round for the altar for with so many candles and so much red, the room reminded me of a church." (Rhys 188)

(The quote here is taken from Antoinette's nightmare, so I tried to make the photo dream like. Here, she is sleeping among many candles, seemingly floating in mid air. )

"I waited a long time after I heard her snore, then I got up, took the keys, and unlocked the door." (Rhys 190)

"I was outside holding my candle. Now at last I know why I was brought here and what I have to do." (Rhys 189)

"There must have been a draught for the flame flickered and I thought it was out. But I shielded it with my hand and it burned up again to light me along the dark passage." (Rhys 189)

Go home Meursault--you're drunk

I think that one of the reasons why there is so much conflict in the sixth chapter of The Stranger is because Meursault is drunk, and this impairs his ability to think clearly about what he is doing. He is no longer the passive, nonchalant character from the first few chapters but instead displays emotion as he forgets to put on his apathetic act. 

Aside from the fact that Meursault tells us that he drank tons of wine during their beach picnic, there are other hints that Meursault is not in his usual state of mind as he has been before.

In this chapter, for the first time we see Meursualt taking sides in an argument instead of just passively watching and calling things "interesting." Perhaps being drunk makes Meursault forget the fact that he's supposed to be "emotionless." Not reacting to things emotionally must take a great deal of thought and effort, and in his sober state Meursault is used to being able to filter out his emotions completely. But, once he is drunk he is no longer able to filter things normally.

This is evidenced through the fights with the men who follow Raymond and Meursault to the beach. Meursault seems to have some sort of emotional investment in the fights because instead of standing back and not fighting he takes a side with Raymond. This is a first, because in other conflicts he has never really intervened but merely watched (e.g. when Raymond beats his girlfriend and when the old man beats his dog). In the beach fights, though, Meursault looks out for Raymond by yelling "Look out, he's got a knife!". This not only shows that he was on Raymond's side, but that he was somehow emotionally invested enough to want to warn Raymond of the weapon.

Also, the way Meursault describes the beach and the hot summer day is very surreal and almost dream-like. This is because he was drunk and not seeing the world as clearly as before. He comments on the fact that he has a piercing headache and can't stand the hot sunlight. Maybe this was because he was dehydrated and the alcohol in his system also caused him to get sick. (I looked this up, and apparently drinking too much on a hot summer day makes you more likely to get heat illnesses.) 

Perhaps Meursault's drunkenness is the reason why he chooses to shoot the man four more times than necessary. This is also an example of Meursault feeling emotion because he says that the four shots created unhappy emotions for him: "Then I fired four more times at the motionless body where the bullets lodged without leaving a trace. And it was like knocking four quick times on the door of unhappiness. "

All the same, I don't think that the fact that he was drunk makes his crime any less serious. It would be false to say "Oh, well. He was drunk so he didn't actually mean to kill anybody." What I do think is interesting, though, is seeing this second side to Meursault where he shows at least a small bit of emotion (fear/judgement/unhappiness).