Antoinette + Rochester = Catastrophe

There has been lots of class discussion about Rochester and Antoinette's relationship. Has Rochester ever loved Antoinette and could he ever love her? Could their relationship have ever been a healthy one?

I think that their relationship was never, and never could have been, true love. And, I think most of the blame for this falls on Rochester's shoulders.

Yes, I understand that Rochester comes from a frivolous English background and he expects everything to go his way because that's how he's been brought up, but this isn't a good enough defense for his actions in the book. 

First of all, Rochester is driven by his selfishness. He comes to the island for the sole purpose of getting a girl and a fortune--and he finds that in Antoinette. Right from the beginning Rochester doesn't love Antoinette but instead decides to lead her on by pretending that he cares for her so that she will marry him. When Antoinette tries to back out of the wedding, Rochester promises her safety and peace if they got married, but these are lies that he tells so that she will go through with the wedding (78-79). Why is he so concerned about her backing out of the wedding? Because he doesn't want to look like a poor fool to his friends back in England. 

Rochester also never respected Antoinette. He calls her other names like "Bertha" and doesn't really try to understand Antoinette. He just judges her through his narrow English worldview, and is annoyed when she doesn't act English enough. 

Finally, the way he responds to Christophine's ranting also makes me think that he never really loved Antoinette. After Christophine remarks about Rochester fooling Antoinette into thinking he loved her so that he could get the money, Rochester says "It was like that, I thought. It was like that. But better to say nothing. Then surely they'll both go and it will be my turn to sleep [...]" (152). Here Rochester is actually admitting that he never loved Antoinette. 

Rochester never actually cared if the relationship worked out in the first place. He just wanted his money and a wife, he didn't want any emotional attachment that came with it. I have little sympathy for such a character who uses others to get what he wants, and then blames his problems on others. Rochester has little excuse to blame his problems on Antoinette. It was his choice to travel to the islands, his choice to marry Antoinette, and his choice to neglect their relationship. Rochester is not a victim in this story, Antoinette is.